What Is Premature Ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation is ejaculation that happens too soon for a man and his partner to enjoy sex. There are two types of premature ejaculation: lifelong (or primary) and acquired (or secondary).
Lifelong PE starts early on, usually when you are a teenager experiencing first sexual contact. It is harder to treat and often has deeper psychological causes. Bad habits may also contribute (such as masturbating to ejaculate as fast as possible in order to avoid getting caught).
Acquired PE happens later in life and is usually triggered by either psychological (stress or relationship issues) or physical causes (diabetes or high blood pressure).
How Can I Delay Ejaculation?
There are a wide range of “home-made” remedies for premature ejaculation like frequent sex, masturbating a couple of hours before sex, or having sex with the woman on top.
Thicker condoms: a thicker wall can decrease the sensitivity of the penis
Behavioural strategies: “start-stop” and “squeeze techniques” often prove effective, but do not provide a long-term solution.
It can take a few months for you to overcome PE with these techniques and many men have to keep using them on a permanent basis.
On average, 50% to 95% of men using sexual techniques manage to overcome PE eventually. There is a risk of relapse if there are significant changes in your sexual life (e.g. new partner, stressful event), especially if you feel anxious. In general, the sooner in life you learn to master these techniques the better.
Men who are over-sensitive, rather than being excessively anxious, might not benefit from these behavioural methods because they suffer from a different cause of premature ejaculation.
For these patients, medications that reduce your sensitivity (for example, EMLA a cream, or Priligy an oral tablet) are recommended. are a better solution and eventually improve control over ejaculation. Whilst they can be taken as long-term solutions for premature ejaculation, they don’t fix the underlying causes of PE.
What Is The “Start-Stop” Technique?
This is by far the most simple technique and can be done alone or with a partner.
The technique involves stimulating the penis and stopping just before you feel you are about to ejaculate. Stop the stimulation for 30-60 seconds and start again once you feel that you have regained control. Repeat this process 4-5 times, stopping and “resting” every time you feel that you are about to have an orgasm. Finally, let the ejaculation occur, so that you can identify the “point of no-return”.
Many couples and partners complain, however, about the inconvenience of this “game” and find it frustrating. Try to incorporate it smoothly into sex and take advantage of the pauses to focus on sources of pleasure other than the penis.
What Is The “Squeeze” Technique?
The “squeeze” technique works by squeezing the penis in the area between the shaft and the glans (for about 30 seconds), just before you are about to ejaculate. This stops the ejaculation, but may affect your erection, at least until you are stimulated again. You should then repeat this process 4-5 times until you decide not to delay orgasm anymore.
To be effective, this method has to be used for several months and it requires great perseverance from the man and his partner.
The idea behind the “squeeze” technique is that, after a while, you are able to recognize the “point of no return” and may be able to delay future ejaculations. This technique may be frustrating though as it can disrupt sexual activity.
What Are The Other Options?
The “start-stop” and “squeeze” technique prove more effective when combined with these techniques:
- Think about something else: something distracting, boring or annoying
- Take a deep breath before ejaculation: this can delay orgasm by slowing ejaculation and stimulation
Taking Care Of Your Partner
Longer foreplay can help increase satisfaction of your partner as well as delay your ejaculation. Longer foreplay can improve your relationship by reducing dissatisfaction, frustration and performance-related anxiety.
Be aware that the more pressure men feel during sex, the more likely they are to suffer from PE.
Communication will help you overcome many issues and any discrepancies between your desires and those of your partner.
What Are The Best Tips?
Thick condoms: try these if you think your penis is too sensitive. They can help decrease its sensitivity.
Focus on other sexual pleasures: this can decrease anxiety and help you gain better control over your ejaculation.
Talk to your doctor: PE is a very treatable condition.